New Balls Please

New balls please, yes its Wimbledon time again which means its time to roll out a bunch of TV commentators who specialise is talking gibberish. This year has been no exception, during one men’s singles match the commentator remarked that this was a tough man’s sport, no time outs or half times here, just none stop action. Now I am not sure if he was watching the same sport as everyone else, but if he was what does he call the two minutes rest after roughly every five minutes of this none stop action. You know the part where the players sit down, get waited on hand and foot by ball boys and girls, drink water, eat bananas, change their shirts and dry themselves off with a nice fluffy towel, which they either throw on the ground as they get up or throw at said ball boy or girl when they have no further use for it. Or what does he call a convenience break, in other words when they want to go to the toilet. Here the game stops whilst they are thankfully allowed to pop off court. Then there is the medical assistance break, which occasionally is used when the player actually has an injury, but more times than not it’s a tactical ploy to stall the game or at least grab a rest. Don’t get me wrong, tennis can be an all action sport, but to say it’s a tough man’s sport because there are no time outs or half times is just not on.

Take the Tour De France, now there is a tough mans sport and as far as I know there is no half times or time outs and you certainly do not see them all stop for a sit on the side of the road every 10 kilometers, so they can have a nice drink, grab a bite to eat, change their tops and dry themselves off. No once the race starts for the day, it’s none stop action until they cross the finishing line many hours later. These guys drink and eat on their bikes on the move. If they have a medical problem they get treatment from a doctor hanging out of a car driving by the side of them, whilst they keep on the move. They even take a convenience stop, on the move. So unless the commentators really are watching a different sport at Wimbledon to the rest of us, I am afraid to say they are talking a load of balls, maybe even new ones.EndFragment