Olympic Thoughts

Its impossible to have watched so much of the Olympics without formulating a few thoughts on the matter, after all it was an emotional event whether it was the pride it put back into the country, the amazement everything went off without a hitch, or the epic Mo Farah, the track cyclists, Chad pippin Phelps at his own game, or as one commentator put it Caster lumbering around the track on her way to a silver medal.

So in no particular order, for what its worth here are a few of my thoughts on the Olympics and I will start with the opening ceremony. I thought it was amazing and I have watched it a few times now and it’s good to see all the details of each performers performance, which you miss on the first viewing. I know a lot of people said they didn’t get parts of it, but in the main they were Americans and to be honest I think the rest of us struggle with understanding them, particularly when it comes to frequent mass shooting and invading far off countries. But does it really matter if you understand it or not, after all the Beijing opening ceremony is widely thought to have been the best yet and I for one didn’t understand about 99% of it and I am sure that applied to anyone who didn’t hold a masters degree from one of the better universities, in ancient Chinese culture. So does it matter we didn’t get, it didn’t in Beijing and it didn’t in London because of the same thing, both were great spectacular ceremonies.

Then there was the closing ceremony which I think overall was another hit, yes we could all think of things that could have been better but so what. Although on that point I think it was very nice that the Spice Girls reformed for this one off event, but for my money I would prefer that they stay as they rightly should be, deformed and I’m not just referring to Posh Spice. That brings me to Take That, which left me thinking that either here was four guys who all had exactly the same voice, or only one of them was singing. Darcy Bussell was very good and I think we can expect to see her in Rio where she will wipe the floor in the rhythmic gymnastics’. I guess if there was one negative comment I would make about the closing ceremony it would be that the director should not have allowed the artists to select their own choice of material and by way of example look no further than George Michael. Yes Freedom was the right song to sing, but he followed it up with one I must imagine he likes, as it killed the atmosphere dead. Annie Lenox should have sung “Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This” and the remnants of Queens should have sung “We Are The Champions”. This is not rocket science and when it comes to putting on a show that represented the country to the world, artists should have been told exactly what was expected from them. On a general theme, this Olympics was probably the most hi-tech to date and at almost every level. The TV coverage was no exception they had cameras where you would be forgiven for thinking cameras couldn’t go. Then there were the track racing bikes, there must be more science in one of them than there was to put Armstrong on the moon. The javelins had to undergo 27 different measuring processes before an athlete was allowed to touch one. Yet despite all this highly technical gizmo stuff, why the hell are the athletes still pinning their numbers on their vests with safety pins, just a thought? Now for the actual sports and I think I have discovered a new celebrity TV competition show to rival “Strictly”. It will be called “Sink or Swim” and it will be celebrity synchronised swimming. Or it could be called “So You Think You Can Hold Your Breath”, either way I am sure it would be a success combining the Olympic fever, Olympic legacy and the real need for celebrities to be more like our sports hero’s. That is if you think this is a sport, I agree it’s very clever, difficult to do well and demands lots of hard work and dedication, but is it really a sport. In my book any sport you do to music is not a sport but some sort of minority art. Coming back to Darcy, what she does is very clever and hard work and demands lots of dedication, she also does it to music, but thank god they haven’t put ballet into the Olympics. Interestingly there are only 2 medals to be won here, one for a team of two swimmers and one for a team of 6 swimmers. So lets create another medal to even things up, lets have individual sychronised swimming. Beach Volley Ball and in particular the women's event is without doubt great viewing, but no matter how much you look at it, its still a beach game played on thousands of beaches in hot countries across the world. This is no more an Olympic sport than sand castle building is. One thing that did puzzle me was how did the countries select their teams and I suspect that as the skill level required to play this game is very low, about the same as making sure you have an even application of suntan lotion, they pick two very attractive girls and thenEndFragmentStartFragment teach them the game. Obviously the Team GB girls are the exception that proves my theory. You see if you have two very attractive girls wearing skimpy clothing, you are sure to get maximum TV air time, as much as any team that will eventual win the gold medal. That will be very important for countries like Belarus or Syranam, Naru and Lao PDR, who want to use the games to put their countries on the map.

History has dictated that many sports have developed from combat or fighting, but I think its fair to say that fencing has past its sell by date. Its not been the chosen form of combat since Mr Smith and Mr Wesson produced a gun for the people. If its to stay at least make it interesting I mean the swords they use are so flimsy you can’t see them, it just looks like two people dressed in white romper suits waving at each other. So if it must stay let’s have some of those big heavy two-handed things the knights swung around their heads chopping bits of body off with every swing. For the women they could introduce those long curved thick bladed things that Al Barber and his forty thieves used.

I cannot write this next bit without laughing, how the hell did BMX bike riding get into the Olympics, its not a sport its a precursor to a sport. It also shows that a lot of parents have failed their children, they have failed to support them and to develop them properly. You see when a kid is about 5 years old they get a BMX bike on which that kid will learn to ride a bike with just two wheels. After a while that kid may learn how to control that machine whilst negotiating rough ground, they may even venture into very basic competition by challenging their mates to a race around the wasteland at the back of their homes. Now if the parents are doing their job right, once this stage has been completed they get their kid a mountain bike. Now there are gears to learn, more speed and the ability to race faster and the chance to attempt something more adventurous than wasteland. Once this stage has been master a good parent will get the kid a proper bike and with that comes the chance to take part in a real sport like track or road racing. This is how good parents develop their kids, so adult BMX bike riders are a clear sign of failed parentage and is that the sort of thing that should be encouraged by making it an Olympic sport. All I can say is thank god that parents don’t apply this thinking to the other aspects of parenting or we would have ended up by now with a generation of 20 something’s who spend all their time in from of the TV or a computer or scoring cyber goals on their play stations. Oh, hang on a minute.....

My final sport related comment is for weightlifting something I have to say I found very interesting and very exciting. But I do think that something has to be done about some of the phrases that clearly have a history, but could be deemed inappropriate particularly in relation to the female competitors. Squat for example closely followed by snatch, “The German girl has a nice snatch”, sounds a bit rude, or is that just me?EndFragment