A Natural Athlete.......

For some totally unexplainable reason I found myself last Saturday morning at 8am starting my second Park Run, even though my first one, last week was by anyones reckoning a disaster. But, this time I had it in my mind to do better and you know what they say, “if you can think it, you can do it”. So with great expectations off I set with the other 950 plus runners, although I think this was where my plan started to fall apart, as it was clear all the other runners intended to better and started off at olympic park run pace. All of which meant that within a short space of time I was comfortably placed near the back of the pack.

It was whilst occupying this privilege spot in the race that it dawned on me that I had become a “bottom line” and no I wasn’t getting nice comments about my rear from the many women that overtook me. The bottom line I had become actually belonged to this guy runner who was way, way into 80’s. I first came across him when he was walking, albeit fast and as I caught him he looked across at me and started to run again, pulling away from me. As I continued to run, sorry jog I came across this old guy again and again he was walking. As I caught him he looked at me and started running again. This happened several more times until I never saw him again. This is when it dawned on me that I had become this old guys bottom line, in other words he was not prepared to fall behind me in the race and he never did, bastard.

But I continued to jog along only managing to pass a small group of women in their 50’s who from their appearance probably came from Constantia or Bishops Court, the really posh parts of Cape Town. They had all the right gear, nike running shoes, lycra in the right shades, sun visors, waist bags with water bottles attached. Yes this was the “all the right gear, no idea” crowd. They just strolled along chatting about flower arranging and next weeks bridge club, they were not even walking fast. I know what they were talking about as I spent about five minutes relatively close to them as I performed my overtaking manoeuvre.

Dogs seem to hound me on these runs, if they are not trying to cock their leg up my leg, thinking its at best a very slow moving tree, they are having a dump right in front of me. I almost had a very nasty park run accident when a Chow dog suddenly stopped for a dump and I had to take evasive action to prevent either stepping into something I had no wish to step in, or fall head over heels over this small bear like dog. The only thing that prevent a nasty injury was my speed, I was going slow enough to formulate an evasive plan, write it down, check it for spelling mistakes and then put it into action.

Eventually in the last kilometre of the agonising 5 I was attempting I seemed to get into my stride, suddenly I felt good, I felt dare I say athletic. Then a very fat bloody labrador dog and his equally fat owner just whizzed past me, with the owner giving encouraging words to his dog without a hint of breathlessness.

I finished and received my results, the numbers reflecting my time, overall finishing position and my finishing position for all males looked like telephone numbers, but I have a small twig of hope to hang onto, I came 14th in my age group. I smiled when I saw that, I knew deep down I was a natural athlete.